Dear Abby: Daughter wrongly blames mom for calling the cops

Key Takeaways:

• A mother is angered by her daughter’s false accusations of calling the police.
• The daughter’s suspected alcoholism amplifies tensions in their relationship.
• Dear Abby stresses the importance of emotional connection, cautioning against hiring an escort.
• Personal challenges can be compounded by misunderstandings and unmet expectations.
• Passover is highlighted as a major holiday celebrating Jewish liberation.

Family Tensions

A Texas mother writes that her adult daughter, who may suffer from alcoholism, was once found passed out on the sidewalk outside her apartment. She held a lit cigarette and appeared disoriented enough that a passerby called the police. The authorities brought her to jail for her own safety. Despite the mother’s insistence that she had nothing to do with calling the police, her daughter continues to blame her for the incident five years later.

Dear Abby’s Response

Dear Abby points out that whoever alerted the police did the daughter a favor by ensuring she was taken to a safe place. Abby encourages the mother to refrain from arguing when the accusation arises. Instead, she suggests reiterating that police intervention prevented a potentially worse outcome. The columnist also notes that the daughter’s difficulty coping may involve a deeper issue, be it substance-related or otherwise, and advises saving emotional energy by avoiding futile confrontations.

A Different Struggle

Meanwhile, a 35-year-old woman in New York—who has never been in a relationship and identifies as a virgin—poses a deeply personal question: should she hire an escort to lose her virginity? After facing a past workplace romance “from hell,” she finds herself considering a move she hopes will satisfy her curiosity and end years of frustration.

Dear Abby’s Guidance

Dear Abby gently advises against using an escort, stressing that for many women, emotional connection plays an important role in a satisfying intimate experience. Instead, she recommends seeking guidance from a licensed therapist to address any underlying challenges that might be preventing healthy romantic relationships.

A Moment of Celebration

The column concludes with a note on the beginning of Passover at sundown. Dear Abby reminds readers that this storied Jewish holiday marks the historic liberation of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt, and she extends warm wishes to those observing this significant event.

About the Column

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, a tradition founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Readers who wish to reach out to Dear Abby for further advice can find her online or contact her by mail. Additional resources and booklets, including guidance on wedding planning, are also available as outlined in her column.