Dear Abby: I’m disgusted that my daughter, 22, is seeing her boss, 54, but I can’t say anything

Key Takeaways:

• There is a 32-year age gap between the daughter and her boss.
• The mother learned of the relationship from her older daughter.
• A family-held promise prevents open discussion.
• The mother remains torn about how to address her daughter’s situation.

A Family’s Resolve Tested

A mother recently discovered, through her older daughter, that her 22-year-old child has begun a relationship with her 54-year-old employer. The revelation caused profound shock and discomfort, given the significant age difference. Her dilemmas revolve around respecting her promise to keep this knowledge secret while also feeling an urgent need to protect her younger daughter.

A Silent Mother’s Struggle

Bound by a promise of silence, the mother cannot simply confront the 22-year-old. She is both concerned for her daughter’s well-being and distressed by the idea that the family cannot discuss the matter openly. The daughter, unaware of her mother’s discovery, continues on with this new relationship.

Unexpected Power Dynamics

The boss-employee nature of the situation deepens the discomfort for the mother. She worries about the potential imbalance of power and the emotional implications of a relationship that spans 32 years in age. Those details have left the mother questioning whether to intervene, despite her agreement to remain silent.

Managing Lingering Doubts

Ultimately, the mother is left torn between respecting her promise to her older daughter and addressing her fears about the youngest daughter’s well-being. The future remains uncertain as she weighs her sense of parental responsibility against the deeply complicated constraints that have arisen from this secret.