Miss Manners: I was stunned when wealthy business owners ask guests to bring a dish to BBQ

Key Takeaways:

• Hosts’ expectations clashed with their affluent status
• A formal sign-up sheet for dishes caused surprise
• The staff’s role in creating the owners’ income highlighted potential imbalance
• One invitee chose not to attend for ethical and practical reasons

The Invitation

When a group of wealthy business owners extended an invitation for a backyard barbeque, many presumed the event would unfold like any other company celebration. Yet this one came with an unusual twist: rather than simply treating their guests, the hosts requested each attendee bring a dish to share.

The Sign-Up Sheet Shock

The invitation apparently included a sign-up sheet for potluck contributions. This detail caught the attention of at least one person on the invite list, who believed the request was out of step with the hosts’ financial position.

Refusing to Attend

The individual who chose not to attend shared three main reasons. First, they underscored that staff members are the ones generating income for the business owners. Second, the idea of a sign-up sheet felt impersonal. Finally, they felt the owners’ wealth should have allowed them to host without requiring the workforce to supply the food.

Wealth, Staff, and Etiquette

While many social gatherings now incorporate potluck elements, combining a workplace hierarchy with a casual setting can stir unique questions of etiquette. For the invitee who declined, the invitation simply contradicted the typical generosity expected of wealthy hosts—a reminder that proper social norms can become a point of contention when money and manners intersect.