Miss Manners: Getting ghosted, then guilted, gets galling – Wed, 07 Jan 2026 PST

Key Takeaways:

• The core question asks how someone can be blamed for ghosting if there is no initial contact.
• Modern technology has turned silence and non-responsiveness into a prevalent social concern.
• Communication depends on both parties engaging consistently.
• Uncertainty around missed or assumed messages can create guilt on all sides.
• Etiquette columns like Miss Manners’ offer guidance on navigating today’s communication pitfalls.

The Question at Hand

“DEAR MISS MANNERS: How can you be responsible for ghosting someone when they never write to you?” This query, posed in a recent column, highlights how people can feel guilty for not responding—even if they never received or noticed a message in the first place.

A Modern Communication Dilemma

In our connected age, “ghosting” has become a familiar term. It commonly describes the act of abruptly cutting off contact with someone without warning. Texting, social media, and email have made instant communication the norm, but also created new ways for signals to go astray or be misinterpreted.

When Both Sides Go Silent

Problems often arise when one person thinks they are waiting for a message, while the other feels the same. In the absence of clear exchanges, both parties may believe they have been ghosted. Such misunderstandings highlight how easy it is for silence to be mistaken for avoidance or apathy.

Etiquette Meets Technology

Miss Manners, a long-established source of etiquette wisdom courtesy of Judith Martin and her collaborators, takes a sympathetic yet straightforward approach. Though social norms have evolved with each new medium, the fundamental expectation remains: courtesy, clarity, and mutual awareness are essential.

The Takeaway

The question of “ghosting” boils down to whether both parties are actively communicating. Feeling guilty for failing to respond may be misplaced if there was never a prompt or inquiry to begin with. In today’s busy and tech-driven world, the call to keep lines of communication open—and to extend benefit of the doubt—remains as important as ever.