Miss Manners: My wife’s excessive use of “very” is driving me crazy

A husband grows exasperated by his wife’s habitual use of “very,” prompting him to seek guidance in Miss Manners’ column. Etiquette expert Judith Martin weighs in on how minor language quirks can drive a wedge between spouses.

Key Takeaways:

  • A husband is bothered by his wife’s excessive use of “very.”
  • Judith Martin, known as Miss Manners, addresses his concerns in her advice column.
  • Small linguistic habits sometimes ignite bigger marital tensions.
  • The piece was originally published by Cleveland on December 10, 2025.
  • It highlights how everyday family irritations can benefit from polite communication.

The Spousal Complaint

The story centers on a husband who feels driven to distraction by his wife’s constant use of the word “very.” He views this habit as excessive and disruptive. Determined to address the issue, he turns to Miss Manners for a dose of common-sense advice.

Miss Manners’ Role

Advice columnist Judith Martin, famously known as Miss Manners, receives a variety of questions about etiquette—ranging from table manners to inter-family disputes. In this instance, she is asked to weigh in on whether one spouse can (or should) correct the other’s speech pattern. Although the full content of her response isn’t provided in the source, Miss Manners is well-known for her polite but firm insights, often reminding people that kindness and tact underlie all good etiquette.

The Broader Issue of Language and Relationships

While “very” may seem like a harmless adverb, repetitive word habits can build tension in personal relationships. Even tiny annoyances can escalate over time, pointing to the importance of open communication and mutual respect. Couples sometimes find that addressing details such as tone, word choice, or conversational “tics” helps keep the peace at home.

Looking Ahead

The situation illustrates how trivial-seeming habits can become catalysts for broader discussions about how couples communicate. By acknowledging these potential irritations and approaching them constructively, families can foster a more harmonious environment. Miss Manners regularly encourages diplomacy, reminding readers that respectful dialogue can bridge even the most minor marital divides.

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